Leave it alone. Wash the outside like any other body part, and never pull the foreskin back. It separates on its own over months or years. Once it does, he rinses under it in the shower.
One of the top reasons parents give for circumcision is "it's easier to keep clean." In reality, caring for an intact baby is about as easy as it gets, because the main rule is: don't do anything.
The trouble is that a lot of American parents, and honestly a lot of doctors, never learned this. In one survey, 40% of pediatric residents gave parents no advice on when or how often to retract the foreskin. (Malhotra et al., 2020) So here's the simple version, based on the American Academy of Pediatrics' own guidance. (AAP, HealthyChildren.org)
Babies: hands off
When a boy is born, his foreskin is attached to the head of the penis, a bit like a fingernail is attached to a finger. That's normal. It's protecting him.
- Wash the outside with warm water at bath time. That's it.
- No soap needed under the foreskin, no cotton swabs, no antiseptics.
- Don't pull it back. Forcing it can cause pain, bleeding and tears, and it can lead to scarring.
If a doctor or nurse tries to retract it
It's OK to speak up. Politely say "please don't retract his foreskin" before an exam. The AAP itself says the foreskin shouldn't be pulled back until it has separated on its own.
When does it separate?
Every boy is different. For some it's months, but for most it's years, and that's normal. The AAP says it rarely happens in the first few weeks, and it can take much longer. A foreskin that doesn't pull back in a little boy isn't a problem, it's just not ready yet.
Boys usually discover it themselves. Let him lead. He won't hurt himself, because it'll only go as far as it's ready to go.
Once it retracts: rinse and roll it back
When it pulls back easily on its own, teach him a quick shower routine:
- Gently pull the foreskin back, only as far as it goes easily.
- Rinse with warm water. A little mild soap is fine if he wants, just keep it away from the opening at the tip.
- Roll the foreskin back forward over the head.
You might see a little white stuff under the foreskin, called smegma. It's normal, it's just shed skin cells, and it rinses right off.
When to call the doctor
- His pee only comes out as a trickle.
- He seems uncomfortable or in pain when he pees.
- The foreskin is red, swollen or sore.
Ask for a doctor who's comfortable with intact boys. If someone suggests circumcision for a foreskin that simply hasn't separated yet, it's worth getting a second opinion.
A lot of circumcised dads tell me they'd leave their son intact but "wouldn't know what to do." Now you do. It's honestly less work than caring for a fresh circumcision. Leave it alone, and teach him to rinse when he's older.